WHO IS THE HEALTHY HUMAN?

When I was 10, I had my first thought about my body. I remember thinking I was fat.  

When I was 14, I lost 10kg very quickly. I felt proud of my new weight but I had developed some very negative habits. I was obsessed with exercise, food was either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and calories took over my daily thoughts. And soon after, I put all the weight back on.  

For the next 5 years I yoyo dieted. I would repeatedly restrict, binge, restrict, give up, start again. I eventually put another 10kg. I had developed serious binge eating behaviours, low self- esteem and body confidence. I felt disconnected with friends and anxious at social events where there would be food. I bought every workout program under the sun and said ‘I’ll start again on Monday’ countless times but nothing seemed to stick long term.

I started to lose 10-15kg slowly but I still had these restrictive habits. It seemed that I was something missing some secret formula.  

Something had to change. [MW1] I decided that this was not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life- worried about my weight, constantly counting and obsessing over calories and saying no to opportunities because I have low self- esteem, confidence and body image. I wanted to live a healthy, balanced and enjoyable life. I’d been through too many diets, restriction periods followed by binge eating, excessive exercise, low motivation and productivity and I did not want to go through that anymore. I wanted to be happy, healthy and actually enjoy my life. I realised that for a number of years, my whole mindset surrounded weight loss. I lost opportunities and removed myself from fun social situations, just because I was worried about calories and weight gain. I realised that is no way for a person to live. If I didn’t make this change now, I was afraid that when I became old and grey, I would have regrets and constantly think about missed opportunities.

I threw myself into education (a university degree and endless hours of my own research). I started to try more sustainable approaches. I began to flexible diet, increase the food I consumed, developed the mantra that ‘there is no good and bad food, just moderation’, increased self-care and became more mindful. I started following more positive influencers and educators on social media and learnt A LOT. And it has paid off drastically.

If I had not made this decision, I fear as to what would have happened. I would have gone through life, unhappy with my body, continually tried new diets and failed, would have had major weight fluctuations, my fear of food would have continued and I believeed my relationships with others would have suffered.

What have I gained?  More relaxed look on a healthy lifestyle, I work out because I love it, not because it will help burn calories, I try new foods in the kitchen, I eat treats every day, I enjoy all of the finer things in life and I don’t have the guilt afterwards anymore. I am still continuing to improve my relationship with food and developing a healthy lifestyle, my journey has not ended yet. But I now feel happier, healthier and love myself more that I could have ever imagined.

I am now a health and wellness coach and nutritionist who is passionate about helping young females who are going through the same behaviours. I want to help them overcome their food fears, feel empowered in their bodies and help them break free from their food fears and stress. I want them to feel confident and achieve the body composition of their dreams.